O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
