i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize