Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
