coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
