before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
