She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You dont lie about slip and slides
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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