You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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