I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He uses pillows to masturbate.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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