the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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