You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
