I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
