my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
