I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
