break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
