Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
