so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
