I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
