Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
