pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
