so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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