he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
