There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
you never un-have a 4some
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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