hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
