so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
