you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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