honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
