I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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