this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
