that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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