how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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