That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
