can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
