I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
