There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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