I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
