You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I want her autograph on my taint
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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