The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
