Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
