Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
