i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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