either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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