Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
