A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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