my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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