Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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