I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
