alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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