you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
