Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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