Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
