i permit you to call me
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
